We talk to Wedding Planner Stacey Koks about what makes the perfect day.
- By Elleven
- May 5
- 5 min read
How did you get into wedding planning? And what was the first event you planned?
I feel like I’ve always been a planner- I’m the eldest of 5 so I like to think of myself as the Family Manager who plans the get-togethers and makes an occasion out of anything! I always wanted to go into weddings, but started out in corporate events and built a solid base in that before finally giving in to the passion project just before Covid- impeccable timing! The two worlds are so different but I love the flexibility of working on a large scale conference one week to a wedding the next- although no one's ever cried tears of joy at a conference!
I can’t remember my first event, but one of my biggest was organising Jamie Carragher’s testimonial match and gala dinner in 2010 which raised over £1.3m for local charities. I was in the right place and time and quickly had to figure out what a ‘Testimonial’ was while organising it but I loved every second!
Do you have a style that clients come to you for or is each event bespoke?
Each event is bespoke and that’s because every one of my clients is completely different so it wouldn’t make sense for them to look the same! I’m a planner that leans into design so will always create an overall cohesive look and feel for the day with lots of little details interwoven throughout. I have a particular love for tablescaping and am pedantic about glassware so can promise my clients an immaculate dinner setting and no stubby glassware in sight!
While each couple or client has different style, budgets and priorities, it’s up to me to help them figure out what that looks and feels like on the big day so that they’re walking through the vision in their heads that they didn’t know how to translate. One of the best feelings is weaving in all the little details then watching them revel in it on the day, explaining the meanings behind them to their friends and family (or sometimes just quietly sharing it between ourselves!).
Tommy Ga Ken Wan Photography
Favourite ever wedding you planned?
That’s like asking someone who their favourite child is! I have favourite elements about each one: I did a wedding for 30 guests in a chateau for a couple who are now really good friends of mine and have just had a gorgeous little boy. It was nearly 40degrees on the day and just after the first dance, the groomsmen decided to bomb into the pool in full suits-along with the venue owner's dog. Watching my bride dive right in after her husband and seeing him spin her around in the water without a care in the world was one of those moments they’ll never forget.
Jonathan Continente photography
Do you prefer planning weddings in the UK or abroad?
I have a special place in my heart for destination weddings because they take away one of the biggest stresses of having a UK wedding: good weather. The whole vibe is a lot more relaxed culturally- the day starts a little later meaning no early make-up schedules, meals take place over a longer period of time, your guests are together for more than one day which usually means a second-day event to relive the wedding day and numbers are usually smaller meaning less people to manage for the couple.
Having said that, there are some incredible venues in the UK and a charm about weddings at home that you just couldn’t replicate elsewhere when it’s done right.
Nina Gorshunova photography
Biggest wedding day disaster?
There is honestly SO much that goes on behind the scenes- I could write a book! My friend Greg at GB Wedding Films just filmed some BTS at a recent wedding of mine and said he felt like it was reality tv- I’ll be sharing some of that soon! But I suppose the magic is that guests and couples remain blissfully unaware and party on, even when their napkin is on fire right in front of them!
On one hand, I’m human and have absolutely made mistakes that still burn in my mind, but I’ve learnt from them and changed my ways of working to make sure that they were one-time lessons.
On the other hand, ‘disaster’ is in the eye of the beholder- for some couples, the idea of rain on the day would be their worst nightmare, but I’ve done weddings where it’s poured down just as the outdoor ceremony ended, leaving guests to grab brollies and make a run for the marquee while the brass band just carried on as if nothing had happened. Those are some of the best moments and they remind you that rain could never ruin your day.
Carla McLaren photography
Would you plan a friends or family members wedding?
I have done in the past but always do so tentatively! I was planner and bridesmaid a few years ago which was amazing but also challenging- while the bridal party were in hair and makeup, I was setting up the venue and by the end of the night while guests were heading off, I was packing up the room to make the supplier collections ran smoothly. It was a fun day but I’d much rather just be either a guest or working- not both!
Tips for people planning their own wedding?
Wedding Planning is such a journey and can take a lot out of the couple! My advice is always:
Set out your priorities early on and don’t rush to book anything without thinking it through! So often couples spend a huge chunk of their budget on one supplier (ie a venue) without realising that there is little left for the other big elements such as food and music which play such big parts in the experience.
Hire a planner at the very start of your journey or at least in the month leading up to the big day. This is our job and respectively, not our first time organising a wedding, so we can guide you to make the right decisions and get the best suppliers to bring it all together. What might seem like a luxury will show value 10x over in peace of mind having someone always in your corner to help drown out the external noise, pick up the workload and also bring some fun back into what can be a draining process.
Protect your peace always- as long as the two of you stay on the same page, you can deal with anything. Regularly check in with each other to make sure your plans are still in line with what you set out to do- if a decision you’re mulling over feels selfish, then it’s probably the right one for you so stand by it! Also set a date day in the week leading up to the wedding where you turn your phones off and reconnect.
For anyone that needs some support planning their wedding, the best way is via email: stacey@staceykoks.com for an informal chat to see where I can help.
Stacey has been in the events industry for over 16 years with a varied background which now includes wedding planning. She was born in Zimbabwe, is based in Liverpool and travels all over the world planning weddings & events for her clients. A self-confessed ‘Real Housewives’ fanatic that has a love for design, glassware and making sure that each event has the client’s vision at heart.
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